Dearest Mackadoodledoo,
I saved a real keeper for my inaugural dream- it is a doozy. I was watching a lot of true crime leading up to this drimmer and spent the night prior playing live-action horror board games with the sibs.
Let’s just say, things got a bit violent. I can’t wait to hear what you think.
But First~
Ever have one of those really quick dream “mini-sodes” that squeeze their way into your night’s sleep even though they seem unrelated to the overall story that gets all the glory? This dream saga started with one of those- and, though it was brief and feels like it all happened in the span of five seconds- I did feel it warranted mentioning.
In this telescoping mini dream, my brother and I own a daycare center and it’s a bustling day after lunch. We’re picking toddlers up and wiping their PB&J-covered faces, tossing giant foam blocks out of the way that are strewn on the floor, and laying out plush pillows for afternoon nap time.
Several of the kids are acting up, and don’t want to be put down, wailing for more playtime.
That’s where the dream appears to take over and my brother and I make a decision without speaking, sort of robotically, there’s just no other way to tend to this problem: The tantrum makers need to be “medicated.”
I station myself at the kitchen sink to pour test tubes of cocaine (casual) into buckets of water. I’m trying to get the ratio right and the mixture’s getting goopy and grainy (evidence that it’s just about ready).
I don’t have children, nor might anyone I know let me near theirs after reading this, but what should I make of this?
The fun does NOT stop there...
End scene on that mini-sode. Now I arrive at a swanky outdoor venue by a shimmering lake to attend a friend’s wedding (who was the bride? It seems I had two people in mind: This was a split character of Amanda, one of my first close friends in elementary school and Monica, a good friend I have from middle school who I just visited in DC a few weekends ago.)
But, I’m not there just as a guest, I’m actually on a special mission to assassinate someone in the wedding party. Gasp!
Once I greet the bride, I go through the motions of how I’ll carry out the deed, mentally practicing for my moment. I feel the revolver in my right leather jacket pocket, just concealed when I put my hand around it.
I check my watch: 6:00 pm. That’s when I remember I’ll need to eliminate my target at precisely 6:30 pm, no sooner, no later, or else I won’t be admitted into Slender Man’s kingdom.
Yep, Slender Man’s kingdom.
Between my assassination rehearsal and the real shindig, I have some time to mix and mingle with the crowd. 30 minutes to be exact. So I walk over to one of the gazebos decorated in peach flowers.
I get a tap on my shoulder. It’s Kent, a charming acquaintance from college who I haven’t seen or talked to in at least five years. I go in for a hug and Kent kisses me on the lips, as if this is as casual as a handshake. After chatting with a few other friendly faces, I look down at my watch.
6:28 pm.
It’s time for the wedding procession, and guess what? I’m the maid of honor in the wedding (or in this case, the maid of dishonor considering my duties, though I was never fully certain who my target was).
As maids of honor do, I begin stepping down the church aisle to the classic pipe organ processional. My walking partner is moving at an erratic pace, and I wonder if they’re doing it on purpose as I try to speed down the aisle, cognizant of what time it is.
That’s when I realize, everything around me- the pews that flank the aisle filled with friends and family, the stained glass windows on the sides of the church and tall cathedral- everything’s fading away and all I can see is the floor, which quickly starts disappearing under my feet.
The best way I can describe the end of the aisle scene is like being on Rainbow Road in Mario Kart, hitting one of those sneakily placed speed bars around a tight corner, launching off the course, and slo-mo falling into the black part of the screen.
While falling away into blackness, I glimpse my watch. It’s 6:39 pm.
I failed the mission.
Now I’m on the run from someone powerful and their groupies whom I’ve seriously pissed off (could it be Slender?). I get a premonition-type vision that they’ve been in my residence, and stolen important files I was keeping on a TV, but now with the alacrity that they’re pursuing me with, I get the feeling that they still haven’t gotten all that they want.
So, before they ransack my place, I grab my Shun kitchen knife (v. nice, v. v. sharp, quality cooking-grade kitchen knife) for protection. They’re chasing me and we’re all suddenly on a beach, dodging deep holes made from sandcastles, old men asleep in the sun, and down umbrellas.
Though I’m running from them, we’re running in a line, four abreast (which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense), but every once in a while, I get the opportunity to take the very tip of my Shun and carve a little X into each crony’s cheek to remind them I’m armed.
We keep running, then I wake up, frightened and reeling.
What does it all mean?
Mack, this dream was action packed and a half and it resonated with me in an eerie way. There’s symbols on symbols here, but I’m having trouble finding meaning.
Perhaps it was just a collision of too many crime stories buzzing around in my pretty little Jenny head? I look forward to hearing your take.
Jernearth Bearington III