My darling Jennybean,
I feel b l e s s e d that we get to start the blog off with a dream so utterly interesting. I laughed, I gasped, I hid the children and the wives. This one really had it all.
Where to begin?
I just cracked my knuckles so hard you could probably hear it from your house. Let’s dive in, shall we?
The idea of these telescoping mini-dreams is one quite familiar to me. It’s like your brain has so much to tell you it can’t settle on just one motif. Instead, it just throws all these fractured images into a blender and sees what kind of super-powered psychic protein shake it can come up with. Here’s the thing though:
There’s no way these scenes–these mini-dreams–aren’t somehow related. It may not seem so, but there’s an emotional undercurrent that runs beneath them all. We’ve just got to figure out what that is.
Pt. 1: Daycareless
You know what stuck out to me the most about this daycare?
You’re going to say the cocaine, I just know it.
Spoiler alert: it’s not the cocaine. It’s actually the seemingly innocuous fact that you were running it with your brother.
Siblings are kind of like the custodians of our childhood memories, aren’t they? Your parents are there from the beginning, but your siblings are typically the only ones down there in the trenches with you.
So, here you are, with your brother–a figure tied to thoughts of childhood and innocence–and you’re trying to care for unruly children together. You’re struggling to control them to such a degree that you’re pumping the little grubworms full of cocaine to get them to settle down.
And they say giving a kid benadryl is bad…
Sidebar: didn’t our grandparents literally give their kids bourbon and beat them with wiffle-ball bats to get them to go night-night? They’re called the “Silent Generation” for a reason…
“You tell anyone about this and I will literally put you in the oven.”
Jenny, have you been ruminating over childhood memories recently? Maybe you’re feeling the strain of adulting?
Pt. 2: Goin’ to the chapel and we’re gonna get murdered
Okay, before we delve into your very juicy stint as Jason Bourne, I think we need to discuss the idea of “split characters” in dreambinos.
You and I have definitely discussed this at length: two people merging to become one single character in your dreams. I like to think of this as another instance of blender brain. It’s taking two people, typically from two different eras in your life, and putting them together. The emotional through-line that binds them across these different eras is the emotional fulcrum of the split-character.
That being said, what do you think is the through-line between Amanda and Monica?
The idea of you being an assassin is something I think we can take literally. You’re here to kill some aspect of the dream. As you’ve been hired to take out the bride, maybe there are some affections you’re trying to eradicate, something that’s either distracting or overall unpleasant–maybe even something from your past (hint hint: your mini-dream).
Hey, know what else? Peach–like those peach flowers you mentioned–can symbolize lust and pleasure.
Now, to cap off this subconscious buzzkill: the time. I’ve been looking up the number 630 and there are a lot of ways we could interpret this. But the number as a whole seems to be a herald of positive change and good things to come. So… kind of a major bummerooskie that you missed it, huh?
You know that you deserve all the actual good in this entire world, right? Jennybean, don’t deny yourself anything.
Pt. 3: A slender manhunt
I am seriously chewing on this Slender Man component and I keep coming up empty because I just find it hilarious.
Let’s tackle the seemingly more obvious symbols, the beach being at the forefront. As a place where water meets land, it’s also a place where your rational and irrational mind meet. And here you are, dodging sandcastles and holes as if dodging the traps of your own irrationality.
Fortunately, you’ve got your Shun knife in hand, which is a way to cut out the negativity. The revolver may not have worked, but you still have something to defend yourself with.
You’re running in lockstep with your enemies, so at least the playing field is even. And while these toxic figures may be close to you, you can mark them with a nice, clear X, like a pirate marking a treasure map.
Did you feel powerful marking them? Did you feel like even though irrationality and fear had been chasing you down, the end goal, and the reward attached to it, was in sight?
Repression is fun.
I know that from experience. Feelings you may have thought were buried, like a lost flip-flop on a beach, have a way of coming back to you though. Your subconscious might be struggling to cut out certain feelings, but it also understands that you’re the girl with the Shun knife, and you know how to use it.
After all, you’re Jenny Bourne.
Sincerely,
Macklutzie